Under Construction

2:54 AM 11/3/2009

No, this isn't about a breakup.  This is more of a reminder that some things are not meant to last.

I heard this song from Ms. Barbara Streisand and thought that this could be a nice blog post title.  About what?

I don't know how to describe my feelings really.  There's a lot going through my life right now, well, not really.  I just feel that there is.  I guess I'd just let some of these be enumerated in this post.

I am currently missing someone so bad that I'm scared I'd never get him back.  Unfaithful, huh?  No, before you accuse me of such, probably I'd describe him to you first.  He's the reason why I am always excited to go to work every night, he's the reason why I can't keep that smile on my face, the reason behind that beaming face whenever I tell a friend how we started.  I was the same to him, before, probably, I'm not sure about that now.  He always thinks of me before anything else, makes time, finds something amusing out of my childish ways.  He's always excited to see me, spend time with me, even if it's just for a few minutes.  He even blogs about what he feels about me.  He's always happy when he's with me.  Well, that's as far as I can see.

But that was before.  Now, I don't know.  Everything I do seems to annoy him, he sometimes raises his voice at me, he's not that excited to see me, I don't know.  Sometimes he says I'm asking too much from him, asking him to choose me over his job...which makes me think if I'm really doing that.

And no, don't get me wrong.  He's still my inspiration, I am still excited about him, about spending time with him, any chance that I could get to be with him.

Well, I tried to talk to him about how I am feeling, maybe I am just too sensitive about this.  About him.  And maybe, he has done his best.  I'm not complaining.  Not at all.  I'm just in the middle of missing someone and the anxiety of him never coming back.

I miss you, kiddo.  I know, he'd never be back.  Probably, you're just too busy with stuff.  And I understand.  I just hope you'd feel how much I am missing you through this post.

Love, mommy.

10:38 PM 10/28/2009

May katagalan na rin pala nung huli akong nag-update.  Weheh, ikaw na maging busy...
Hindi naman sa masyado akong busy or what, I guess I can't find anything too exciting to blog about.  Well, that's scary, right?  Even the 17th month with goatie isn't exciting as I thought...papano, nakalimutan ko na naman!  It's not that I am not excited about it, pero siguro, andun na lang ako sa stage na hindi ako nagbibilang ng days, hindi ako nagbibilang ng weeks or months...I am just enjoying my days with him.

Hmm...what else?  Well, "she" is still interfering with my work...duh, para namang alam nya gagawin nya pag wala ako.  Goodness, she's really getting on my nerves.  Ewan ko kung anong gusto nyang mangyari, does she want to do my work?  Eh kanya na.  Kesa ganitong nagmamaganda sya.

Yesterday was my papa's 66th birthday.  Well, supposedly.  Goatie and I visited him sa cemetery.  I know papa's in a safe place now.  Sayang lang, hindi na nya inabutan si Jibreel.  I greeted him happy birthday, sang the song twice in my head, I guess.

I've been continuing Yoga for three weeks now.  And yes, I am enjoying the benefits.  Not that I have lost a lot of weight already, but I am just glad that I'm not out of breath when I have to walk up the escalator when it's turned off at night.  Hehe.

And oh, Georgia was delivered home today.  Not that I like her new look pero...pwede na.  Andun na yun, hindi ko naman masisisi si mama kasi I never took the time to look at it even once while being repaired.

Hay naku.  Yang RCT na yan.  Hopefully matuloy na this Saturday.  Na'ng matapos na tong kalbaryo ko!  I'm scared, kasi from what I've heard, masakit yun...uber sakit daw...pero anong magagawa ko?  It's to restore my tooth.  Kailangan na eh~

Well that's all for now.  Kitty is a busy kitty nowadays.  :-)

I've said this before.  And I guess I'll say it again.

Minsan, sa buhay mo, may magagawa kang hindi maganda, maaaring may mga nasaktan kang tao dahil sa magagawa mo, and if you regret doing something wrong dun sa taong yun, I guess it's just right for you to ask their forgiveness.  Pero hangga't maaari, gawin mo ito ng hindi nakakapanakit ng kapwa mo.

It's just right to ask for a person's forgiveness for something wrong you may have done to them, but it's never right to hurt somebody just to get what you want.

Pero siguro ganun lang un.  Makakapanakit ka ng iba kakahanap mo sa sarili mo, sa gusto mong mangyari, o sa kahit na anong gusto mo, mahanap lang kung ano talaga o sino ang gusto mo. 

Malas mo lang kung ikaw ung laging nasasaktan sa ganitong proseso.

Magulo ba?

Siguro ang sa akin lang...kung may hindi ka natapos sa nakaraan, bakit hindi mo pa tapusin?  Para hindi ka na makapanakit ng iba?  Mag-sorry ka sa taong nagawan mo ng mali, tapos, tapos na yun.  Hindi yung para kang tutang nakatanghod lagi sa atensyon nya.  Hindi ka nya patatawarin sa ganyang paraan.  Higit sa lahat, nakakapanakit ka pa ng mga taong ayaw kang makitang ganun. 

Sabagay, nasa pagdadala lang siguro yan. 

Okay, so I'm not really excited about going to the dentist today but I have to.  Really.

I think I'd have to undergo an RCT or a root canal treatment/therapy...but I think I'd go through that rather than have my tooth "extravated" (quoted from my soon to be ex-boss).  WAAAAH!

I tried to research about RCT and most of the websites I have seen mentioned that RCT isn't as painful as it was before the new technology was developed in this field of dentistry.  yeah, right.

Well, good luck to me.  I'll have a dentist checkup today.  :-S

Yeah, yeah...dumadating sa buhay natin ang pagiging materyolosa.  And yes, I am the material kitty nowadays.  Why wouldn't I, if I can't have the only thing I want?  Maybe I can find it through this (shopping) list:

1.  New loafers.  From Hush.  I'm not actually "dying" to get a pair of these but I saw the shoes while goatie and i were window shopping last Monday night.  I saw the pair again last time I went to the mall to pay my bills. 

2.  A new iPod.  I was thinking of buying the new iPod Nano, the one that has a camera and an FM radio but I guess I would need the space more than the cam.  So, it would be the iPod classic for me.  *drool*

3.  The black oversized leather bag I saw downstairs.  I forgot the name of the shop (and I guess it's a good idea not to mention it here.  Baka maunahan mo pa akong bumili!) but I want it.  Really.  And I think I'd buy it tonight.  Haha!

4.  Lacoste's A Touch of Pink.  Hmmm...I need a change of scent.  I can't buy my fave Clinique perfume cuz one of my agents is using it (grrr...) and of course, the last thing you want to hear is, "Wow, ang bango mo ah!  Kasing-amoy mo si..."

5.  A new dress.  Sadly, my old dresses won't fit me anymore.  Seems like I'm getting heavier everyday.  :-(

Well I guess that would be my list for today.  Take note:  TODAY.  Hahaha.

...for the best is yet to come.

And I love you, kiddo.  To the moon and back.  :-)

2:47 AM 9/13/2009

I've been awake since around 3 this morning for a reason only God knows why.  Maybe it's cuz I've been sleeping the last part of my afternoon.

So here we go.  Browse, browse, browse.  Went online to check on how the DR testing's going in the office, and as usual, we're just overreacting cuz there weren't a lotta calls.  Anyways, just to be on the safe side, I instructed Larry, our agent on shift tonight, to check on the calls that came in related to the DR testing and yes, we received just one call.

Downloading the client needed to make the apps run, I browsed Facebook and found a message from a highschool batchmate.  Yes, it's about the classmate who ran away with our money after talking us into "investing" to her so-called business.  And like what I suspected, it wasn't only us (Gela and I) who were victims of the classmate.  There were others more.  Tsk tsk.

I wouldn't have remembered this but because I lost my phone AND iPod (two hit combo talaga) last Monday, there, I suddenly remembered that I have money "invested" with the classmate.  Shish.

After replying to the email of my batchmate, I went back to querying the cases and yes, I confirmed that we received just one call for the entire evening.

Then, the Lil Ms. Curious that I've always been, I googled myself (yeah, just like what Jan said on her blog, "I'm pathetic like that.  LOL) and look what I found:  a hi5 account.  Darn, I don't even remember creating one.  And of course, I so have long forgotten what the password was.  So reset, reset.  A few minutes and a few clicks more, I was able to log on.  Cancelling account...

I was about to shut my computer down when I suddenly remembered googling another one...I can't find him so instead, I googled "her".  And yes, I found her, easily, cuz she has Facebook, Friendster, MySpace...and all of these accounts, we have one friend in common.  It won't hurt if I stayed a few minutes and checked her profile out, right?  Well that's what I thought.

So your birthday's September 6th...and yes, our common friend greeted you last year.  Sneaky, sneaky.  Anyways, belated happy birthday to you, dear.  Nope, that's not coated with sarcasm.  I mean it.

Was I jealous?  Nope.  Was I hurt?  Yes.  Prolly.

And I never thought that I'd thank FB for posting this in her plurk timeline: 

It's never called an old flame if it keeps burning you.

Back to our regular programming...

Hi papa,

How are you?  I know you're at peace now.  It's been four years now since you have left us but I know you can still see how we are doing.

Mama and I are doing fine.  Mama's still the masipag and the very understanding mom that she always used to be.  She takes care of me so well I always ask myself if I'm doing enough to take good care of her.  Sad to say, I'm not, but I'm trying hard, papa.  I really am.

Ate and I are okay now.  I can talk freely about how my life is going and how I feel and think about Maxz.  I'm trying not to be a nuisance to them, especially with financial matters.  As much as I can, I provide mama with all the things she need.

I just had my phone and iPod stolen last Monday, 'pa.  Yeah, I know what you'll say.  "Eh tanga ka eh."  Harsh, I know, but that's your way of saying that I have to be strong and not to be intimidated by those bad people (I can hear myself laughing).  No, papa.  I'm trying to be strong.  I know I am.  I got that from you.

Oh, papa.  Georgia's being repainted.  It's been raining for almost three weeks now so she hasn't been returned to us yet.  But I can wait, 'pa.  I know when I see her she'd be the most beautiful 1977 Corolla I'd ever seen.

Maxz and I are doing okay, 'pa.  I'm happy right now, I know, if you'd be seeing the things we are doing you wouldn't approve of it, but I know you are happy for me.  I'm sure you are.  (winky winky).  He's a nice guy, too bad he didn't get the chance to talk to you.

Papa, I know you have forgiven me.  The way you have let me light the candle...I am happy, 'pa.  Happy.  That's the first time in four years that it happened.

I know we'd see each other again, 'pa.  And I'd give you the same hug and kiss I'd given you the last Christmas we spent together.

I love you and I miss you so much, papa.

Your loving daughter,

Bugs Bunny

Medyo mabilisan tong post na ito.  I just wanted to share something kaya eto...post ang lola nyo.

Goatie and I were waiting for our lunch to be cooked last Thursday or Friday ata, and we were just browsing for videos in Youtube when we came across a video of a young Korean boy.  We thought this was just somebody who posted his video in Youtube for a reason only God knows why.  We suddenly became quiet when the video started playing:

Amazed?

Yeah.  We were, Goatie and I.  And I still am.

He's Sungha Jung.  According to www.sunghajung.com, he was born on September 2, 1996, so he just turned 13.  He wanted to play the guitar when he saw his dad playing (or my synopsis might be wrong, please check the link mentioned above for accuracy).

All I can say is, whatever his vitamins are, I want them too.  :-)

12:28 AM 9/1/2009

Yes.  This was supposedly a movie review about "Up" but something came up and no, I'm not really happy about

blogging about the movie.

I am doing a lot of things today.  Reports, tasks that are not really part of the usual tasks I do on a Monday, but I have to do it of course.

I didn't mind, really.  Past tense, because after speaking to my soon-to-be ex-boss, I am scratching the part of "minding" a task.

It's about the supposedly suspension that supposedly, shouldn't be issued. 

Well, that's what the devil incarnate boss said to me the last time we talked.  He said that all I have to do was state my reasons so that he won't be issuing the damned DA and he won't.  Well, that was the situation three weeks ago.  Now?  When I asked him about that again...well...the tables have turned.  What I heard from him was really, really...not acceptable:

Green Kitten [12:22 AM]:

 ngayon po ung DA ko na itatanong ko.

 DA ba un?

Devil Incarnate [12:22 AM]:

 J

Green Kitten [12:23 AM]:

 :’(

 DA nga ba un?

Devil Incarnate [12:23 AM]:

 stil trying to feel and observe the return communications about it

 coming from my other OM's

Green Kitten [12:24 AM]:

 affected ba kpi ko nun?

 kasi para ngayon pa lang...

 hindi ko na asahan.

Devil Incarnate [12:24 AM]:

 yes bec its for suspension

 but as long as wala akong binibigay na DA

 no bearing yung NTE

Green Kitten [12:24 AM]:

 ok...

 un lang.  thanks!

 Devil Incarnate [12:26 AM]:

  J

I had a reason to smile while doing the effin tasks earlier tonight, but now?  I can count more and more

reasons not to continue what I am doing.

So goodbye, KPI.  The incentive that I have been waiting for and have worked hard for for a year.